One More Fat Remark

I visited my grandmother tonight, who lives just about a block away from me. I've returned to Hawaii for the summer so it's only proper that a dutiful granddaughter make the rounds.

Not anticipating any particular negativity, I'm stumped and a little surprised when she tells me that the swimming I've been doing is good because I can lose weight. At this point, I'm really more surprised at the fact I was stupid enough to not anticipate the remark.

No, her remark isn't all that petty or mean. Yet. Let's hear the rest, shall we?

Stung, I claim I'm not exercising to lose weight. Truth is, I'm not. I'm doing it for the endorphins to feel mentally well, not with the weight-loss motivation. She says I should because I'm roly-poly. We then proceed to talk about food and she proceeds to tell me I don't need to eat so much because I'm already fat. I, trying to take a higher road than resorting to crazy blow-up tantrum, reply saying that no one likes to hug skinny people because they're all skin and bones. Hugging them only involve hugging sharp angles and jabbity jabs. (There are exceptions, I suppose.) She just looks at me like I'm an alien martian about to eat chickadees.

According to this website, http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm, my BMI is NOT over 25, which is the "overweight" range. I'm 21.9, which, granted, is on the higher end, but I'm still normal, thank you very much. As for percentile, I'm 34th, meaning 66% of others weigh more than I do. Overall, the numbers aren't my ideal, but they're not completely rock bottom either. This only confirms what I've always known. My weight is fuckin' normal and I'm sick and tired of people trying to convince me that I'm morbidly obese.

Apologies

My theory...?

Don't apologize for who you are. Apologize for what you do.

Life To You

Life is a paradise for those who love many things with a passion"-- LEO BUSCAGLIA

Spamalot's Awesomeness

In London, I watched Monty Python's Spamalot just because I had heard good things about it from my fellow writerly-musicals-loving friends. I gave it a try, even though I didn't know what to expect and had never watched any Monty Python films. Wow. It was suprising. It took me the entire first half to really "get into it" because I had a hard time adjusting to the humor, though it was pleasantly entertaining. And there are lots of pop-culture references, which I miss, since I suck at pop culture.

However, I enjoyed it a lot. Enough that I've been debating for some time to watch it a 2nd time now that a tour of it is in SF. And I was resigned to not....need to save money. But I just bought a ticket. Granted, it's a cheap ticket ($30 in the way way back) but.....I'M GOING TO GO SEE IT YAY!!!!

I've been listening to the soundtrack again on imeem.com, which I haven't done in months...maybe over a year. And I found my favorite song from the soundtrack quickly.

Find Your Grail

[Lady of the Lake]
If you trust in your song
Keep your eyes on the goal
Then the prize you won't fail
That's your grail
That's your grail

So be strong
Keep right on
To the end of your song
Do not fail
Find your grail
Find your grail
Find your grail

Life is really up to you
You must choose what to pursue ohh yeeeah
Set your mind on what to find
And there's nothin' you can't doooo

So keep right to the end
You'll find your goal my friend
You won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grai-a-a-a-ail
Find your grail

[Company]
Find your grail
Find your grail

[Arthur]
When your life
WRONG: Seems dejeffed
RIGHT: Seems to drift
When we all need a lift
Tell yourself you won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grail

Life is really up to you
You must choose what to pursue
Set your mind on what to find

[Lady of the Lake]
And there's nothin' you can't do
You can't do
Dooooo!!

[Company]
So keep right (so keep right) to the end (to the end)
You'll find your goal my friend
Find your grail!
You won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grail
Find your grail!!

[Lady of the Lake]
Ohhhh
You'll find it!
You'll find it!
YEEEEAH!
You gotta keep on
Goin round!
Goin round!
Cause I know
YEEEEEEAAAH

~~~

And I was listening to it, singing along...and I realized why this song struck a chord within me. I'm doing the same thing. I am, quite literally and figuratively, trying to find MY grail. I feel like I'm so close to it but not quite. A little more, even though there are barriers in the way. It's almost like I can see it in the distance and no matter how much I keep running, I don't get near it. There are multiple sphinxes blocking the way or something. I don't know why this is so but that's what I feel like. So now this song is just playing nonstop! :p